Sometimes I’d like to think that giving my heart to my father was, and remains to be, one of the most difficult challenges in my life. I’m sure everyone has their own ideals and morals to live by, but to live up to the standards of a living god!? I continue to be a living and breathing testimony to myself with my own personal trials and tribulations. People have this false outlook on Christians and how they “should be.” But really, isn’t that just another stereotype added to the list of many others!? We spend too much time nit-picking each other, always wanting to categorize ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, and soooo many more! It’s our way of understanding each other, by somehow placing them in a little box, while ultimately limiting ourselves to a greater understanding of the human race as we know it! What people fail to understand is that this is a relationship, not a statement! Relationships go at their own pace, and like all relationships, only the persons directly involved can fully understand it! All you have to do is unlock your heart and give it up, that’s it! I know it may sound funny, but the moment you give-in and let go, something inside of you will snap and you will never feel or think the same. This isn’t some type of gimmick, nor will it increase your chances of winning the lottery, but it will flip your world upside down! Things won’t make any sense anymore, and you’ll come to see that you will begin unlearning the person you thought you knew really well. Things of worldly matters won’t matter to you as much, and you’ll begin to cry about things and situations more than normal. Burdens will be removed as more are added, but that’s normal. I’ve learned to accept my pace in this relationship as it blooms. He knows what you’re thinking and how you feel ALL THE TIME. It’s okay to let go! It’s okay to forgive yourself and move on! He loves you more than anything in this world, and wants nothing more than to love you some more! So what if you’re not perfect. So what if you make mistakes – he loves you for YOU, even with all the dents and cracks included! It has been a while since I wrote anything on this thing, but I felt urged to type this out for some reason. I love the feeling of being able to talk about god! I find it difficult having open conversations about god with friends that are not religious, but mostly because I don’t want to scare them off to the idea. I usually like to rant to my friends about god when I’m drunk. I know this sounds incredibly terrible, trust me. But somehow, when I do that, it’s like the truth in me spills out without me stopping it. As if the only way to confess my feelings openly, without being scared, is to be out of my own mind. This is something I need to work on myself, just because I feel it is extremely important, and I don’t want to hold it in anymore! Why would anyone want to keep something like this a secret? It’s nothing to be ashamed about, but rather, it’s every reason to be glorified in! I’m a proud lover of jesus, my savior. And you know what? I’m completely in love with him :)
You should try talking to him for yourself! What’s it going to hurt? He’s just a word away from saying hello!
that's all for now!
-amy
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